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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday my dad told me if he saw me on the computer latenight again... He would smash my head into my keyHDJbdvxhjJDKLXUXBgshdjcmcnGxcNdnckcoNcbcjxndbcjcjkxndJdhhshdbdn"

"Who do you get if you cross Arnold Schwarzenegger with Michael Jackson? Michael Wasanigger"

"A Priest a Rabbi and a Scientologist walk into a bar... The Priest orders an orange juice, the Rabbi orders an apple juice and the Scientologist orders a lawsuit for libel, slander and defamation."

"Finally, GOOGLE will be firmly AHEAD of APPLE... ...ALPHABETICALLY :)"

"I've tried every drug but crack. Who you callin' buttcrack, asshole?!?!"

"What's the difference between period blood and sand? You can't gurgle sand."

"Who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life? A statistician."

"[interview at a clothing store] be cool, don't let them know you're a dog ""so what color is this dress?"" oh you gotta be kidding me"

"I'm starting a support group for people who think they are mortgages. The most important thing is for them to realize that they are not a loan."

"You legally aren't married until someone says, ""haha but seriously"" in their wedding speech."