181974

Joke of the Day

"If your girl says ""Hey guess what!"" you better already have your super excited blown away face picked out for whatever nonsense comes next."

"So I entered a race where we had to sprint the length of a 12 inch ruler It was a foot race"

"Why did the updraft get pulled over? -It was speeding in a high shear zone"

"Breaking news: Cheese Factory Explosion De brie everywhere."

"What's the most frustrating thing in the world?"

"If your middle initial is V, I bet you constantly get mistaken for a court case."

"Opinions are like orgasms, mine's more important and I don't give a fuck if she has one."

"What do you call Bruce Lee stuffed in a shell? A crustacean"

"Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? Cause it runs in your jeans."

"The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other."