181646

Joke of the Day

"The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other."

"The nominees are Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio And the winner is *opens envelope* mad max fury road"

"what the? why are all the prices $4.20? and where are all the potato chips? *walmart rollback guy is passed out in a box of clearance DVDs*"

"What has webbed feet and fangs? Count Quackula."

"Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally? There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd."

"Why can't Pirates spell the alfhabet? RRRRRRRRRRRRRgh"

"I like to stop at the UPS store late at night and leave little notes on their door letting them know I stopped by but they weren't open."

"So from now on I believe in talking bears until someone can logically explain how that Ted scene just happened on the #oscars"

"What do you call a cinema in Jamiaca? A cinemon"

"The tourist: ""Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?"""