181653

Joke of the Day

"Just seen a Disney trailer. I've just seen a Disney trailer It said, ""A new movie from the people that brought you Up."" Flipping Heck! I never knew Mum and Dad made films."

"Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You're welcome."

"Why did Microsoft skip windows 9? Because 7 ate 9"

"Remember that guy that told us that he had no asshole? I think he's full of shit."

"I just bought a pair of glasses from Zenni Optical. 20/20 would buy again."

"I like my pillow like..... I like my pillow, like I like my women. Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch."

"The amount of times I've had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent."

"you can't believe it's not butter? buddy, almost everything is not butter"

"Why is Florida not an island?? Because Georgia sucks..."

"*turns on notifications* Notifications: I have a boyfriend"