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Joke of the Day

"I like my pillow like..... I like my pillow, like I like my women. Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch."

"How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water."

"WIFE: ""You look tired honey. How about a nice steak mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?"" HUSBAND: ""No thanks. I'm too tired. Let's just eat at home."""

"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath? One has hope in her soul..."

"What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ? A bee in a submarine !"

"I've always taught my children that no matter what race or religion, all good looking people deserve respect."

"What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? Ughs and kisses!"

"Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32"

"Three Mexicans were seen at the border. They were tres passing."

"My wife and I couldn't have a baby so we decided to go to an adoption agency. I was so excited while I was in there. It made me happy to think that I could finally take off the baby on board sticker."