53790

Joke of the Day

"Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You're welcome."

"My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine."

"How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to shoot the room for being black."

"Give someone fire and they'll be warm for a day. Throw someone into fire and they'll be warm for the reat of their life."

"Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career. *Interception*"

"50 cent just escaped from jail... They just call him loose change now."

"Did you hear about the pirate who used to walk the plank every night? Well, he couldn't afford a dog."

"Whats the difference between a piece of paper and an emo. The paper cuts you not itself."

"Being a judge incorporates my two favorite things: wearing a robe and judging people. I missed my calling."

"What do you call a gangster with no limbs? A crip"