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Joke of the Day
"Remember that guy that told us that he had no asshole? I think he's full of shit."
Next Joke
"What's in Poison Ivy's underpants? Tulips."
"Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors."
"Rumor has it that the Canadian immigration website crashed because.., Amy Schumer was on it"
"My poem: I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig. It's not a very good poem, but it's very deep."
"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: They've been having turkey for years."
"What do you call a depressed cow? A mooooope"
"Know why Jedi don't get married? Because they know divorce will be with them. Always."
"If at first you don't succeed.. .. skydiving probably isn't for you anyway."
"Where do American bees store their honey? In a USBee hive. ~Thank my ten year old for that one."