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Joke of the Day
"you can't believe it's not butter? buddy, almost everything is not butter"
Next Joke
"What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other unemployed cancer cell? Let's get Jobs. Found in the comments of a /r/til post by /u/laurelwraith"
"I hate how Apple took away the headphone socket all willy-nilly It's like it means jack shit to them"
"You know when you find the BEST hiding place ever to keep something safe and it's so good you forget where it was? That's me and passwords."
"*slips into milk bath* *starts drinking*"
"Interviewer:Do you have time for a question? A: Yes...but...do...you...have...time...for...my...answer?"
"What's the best thing a midget can catch? Air."
"Why can't Jimmy ride his bike? Because he has no limbs Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D"
"The missus just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof."
"What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the law? A small medium at large."