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Joke of the Day

"My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out... Best game of Monopoly ever!"

"How in the hell do Chinese people see when they're high?"

"A guy walks into a bar... Ow!"

"I learnt that Mel Gibson was born in Australia Well I guess you could say he was from... -puts on glasses- MELBOURNE"

"What should vegetarians eat for protein? Meat."

"There are so many songs that tell us how to breathe. It's like musicians and songwriters have never heard of the autonomic nervous system."

"What is Kanye's favorite Transformer? Bruce Jenner"

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to hold the penis. I mean ladder, one to hold the ladder."

"What do you call a cow stuck in a hurricane? A milkshake."

"I'm more than happy to take your sloppy seconds. Who am I kidding, I'll take corroded fourteenths."