1982

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow stuck in a hurricane? A milkshake."

"I fell in the mud. And took a shower right after!"

"Arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics Even if you win, you're still retarded."

"My company is hiring someone for a Business Development, Sales and Marketing position... They're gonna call the new hire the BDSM Executive."

"Why should you never play Uno with a foreigner? Because they will always steal the green cards."

"[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?"

"you either die ... hating Justin Bieber or you live long enough to see yourself become a fan"

"""do u have twitter"" ""SORRY I CAN'T HEAR U!! UR BREAKING UP"" *makes fake static noises* ""we're not even on the pho-"" *jumps out of window*"

"What do you call a fish poop born out of wedlock? A bass-turd"

"If Donald trump takes over the presidency after Obama I guess you could say orange really is the new black"