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Joke of the Day

"James Bond and Money Penny are locked in a trunk... Money Penny: What's that jabbing me in the gluteus maximus? Bond: my PPK? Money Penny: 'K"

"Why wouldn't the two tampons speak to each other? Because they were both stuck-up cunts."

"When life gives you melons... ...you probably have dislexia."

"My friend is afraid of fruit. So I told him to grow a pear."

"When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice"

"Why didn't the waffle go to the pancake party? He was a square."

"Other jokes like, ""If pro is the opposite of con, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress?"" Just looking for some jokes similar to this one, playing on opposites and such."

"A Storm Trooper and a Red Shirt get into a fight. Storm Trooper misses every shot. Red Shirt dies anyways."

"I once had some food cooked for me by a prostitute... ...it was a nice ho-made meal."

"Since the world is doing reposts. ""Knock knock"" you: ""Who's there?"" me: ""hoo"" you: ""Who's hoo?"" me: ""What're you, an owl?"""