180919

Joke of the Day

"What's worse than getting 7 years of bad luck from breaking a mirror? Getting a lifetime of bad luck from breaking a condom."

"The council have started asking people what they think of their plans to build a wind turbine off the local coastline. I'm not a big fan."

"Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee."

"What do you call Neil DeGrasse Tyson with champagne poured over his chest? An Astro-fizzy-tits."

"Me: I'll take one insurance Insurance salesman: It doesn't work like that Me: *shoving $12 in his breast pocket* your best one, please"

"It's Afro Carribean Hair Day at work tomorrow... ...I'm dreadin' it."

"You know how I know you're stupid? You clicked on this link!"

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowlady? Snowballs!"

"How do you say 'Toilet' in Japanese? Dump-ring."

"What does the Pillsbury Doughboy see when he looks down? His Doughnuts."