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Joke of the Day

"Two Flies Two flies were sitting on a turd. One of the flies farts. The other fly looks at him and says, ""Hey! Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here."""

"Getting white carpet installed, then inviting everyone over for a spaghetti sauce and red wine party."

"Wife: Are you gonna wear that to the cookout? Oh... *reaches under mesh shirt* *takes off nipple ring* Better?"

"*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*"

"A piece of ham Ham is ham. The end"

"Why do fat people say they have to start eating right? They've obviously mastered the art of chewing and swallowing."

"Good news! Doctor: I have a really good news for you Mrs Johnson Woman: Well, my name is Ms Johnson Doctor: In that case, I have a really bad news for you Ms Johnson!"

"right-to-die In a right-to-die state the executor has two duties. ""executor"" and ""executor"""

"I told my sister a joke about the belts. I didn't know if it would hold up"

"Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days."