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Joke of the Day

"When your partner cheats on you, do what every respectable person does. Post their name and phone number on 4Chan."

"How do you get honey from a graveyard? From a zombee! I'll see myself out"

"I'm ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there."

"Having children teaches you patience, humility, love and to never, ever, be surprised when you find a Barbie doll leg clogging the toilet."

"Did you know there are more planes in the ocean.. Than submarines in the sky?"

"I'd like to thank /r/jokes for teaching me so many jokes! I've always hated the sound of laughter..."

"Facebook sent me a notification....unfortunately, my meth lab on Farmville blew up."

"Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks? Because he thought it wood look better!"

"I have too much stuff in my closet, so no one can be certain Tom Cruise isn't hanging out in there, too."

"What do you call a woman who dyes her hair red? Transginger."