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Joke of the Day

"I'm ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there."

"Just had to Google synonyms for the word creative. The irony is not lost on me."

"Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring"

"I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me."

"""Pres. Trump, how do you plan to respond to this attack on our soil?"" TRUMP: OK first, I've seen several people call me Tronald Dump online"

"Say ""I won a math debate"" 5 times really fast! Now slap yourself for being such a pervert."

"I have a lot of clothes but I only wear like 5% and It looks like I have none and I refuse to wear the other 95% because I fucking look ugly in them."

"Having sex on when your so is on her period isn't funny. You guys are just bloody dickheads."

"What do you call it when... A guy from Massachusetts doesn't pull out? A Boston cream pie!"

"Ever heard of the movie ""Constipation""? Nope. --- That's because it hasn't come out yet."