17999

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs."

"What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head? Duck."

"What is the greatest show of trust in a person? Letting a cannibal give you a blowjob."

"Why did the Rams give Michael Sam #96? Would #69 be too offensive?"

"As an introvert, having a special place in hell reserved just for me sounds rather nice."

"Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first? A black guy"

"What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger."

"One-liners for when you're leaving - example: ""I'm going to make like a baby, and head out."" I also use ""Let's make like a chapped-ass, and split."" What are some other good ones?"

"Where do bees go to the bathroom at? at the [BP Station](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Bp_station_zanesville_ohio.jpg) *Sorry, I know...its a Dad joke.*"

"Why did Ted get fired from his job? Because he would only do the _bear_ minimum?"