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Joke of the Day

"Why did Ted get fired from his job? Because he would only do the _bear_ minimum?"

"I used to have a part time job helping a one-armed typist write capital letters It was shift work."

"Nobody knows why our shoemaker always makes the insides of his shoes rock-hard... They say he was just born without a sole"

"The earthquake shortened Earth's day by 1.8 microseconds, so don't expect me to get everything done this week."

"Accordion to a recent survey, most people don't notice when a musical instrument is inserted into a sentence."

"Meet my new lizard friend... He's my newt!"

"Why did the dolphin commit suicide? Because his life had no porpoise"

"Sit in Starbucks and scream into your phone, ""What we need is fresh screenwriting talent! An unknown! Where on earth can we find it?"""

"You know how I found out I have a fruit fetish? I had an Orange Crush."

"I think I've found the cure for AIDS. It was in the bathroom cabinet after all."