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Joke of the Day

"What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger."

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"Always bring a rogue with you when you go to Thailand They're good at detecting traps"
"I hate dating black girls, I always need to explain that it wasn't me who gave them those black eyes..."
"What is the painless frequency? 0 Hz"
"You're so ugly....even the tide wouldn't take you out"
"TIFU by whipping the wrong person at the BDSM club. Whoops, wrong sub."
"90% of women that wear yoga pants probably don't do yoga. 100% of straight men don't care."
"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? ""Dam."""
"If I had a dollar for every girl I fucked ... ... I would be still fucking poor!"
"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's house? A right a right a right"