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Joke of the Day

"ME: Mint choc chip ice cream, pls. I got my own cone [places it on counter] EMPLOYEE: This is a traffic cone? ME: You must be new here."

"Did you hear about the new gay sitcom? "" Leave it, it's Beaver."""

"What did the Ocean say to the Beach? Nothing, it just waved."

"be careful tonight honey, guys ur age only want one thing.... sports. so b careful not to look too much like sports out there"

"Scientists have discovered the number one food that kills a woman's sex drive Wedding cake"

"""You take pills because you're crazy"" ""No MOM, I take pills because they make me tolerant of crazy people that don't take pills"""

"Miley Cyrus's VMA preformance... Was so classless Karl Marx came in his grave"

"A fun thing to yell at a magic show is ""BURN HIM, HE'S A WITCH"""

"What's the best part of having Alzheimer's? You get to meet new people everyday!"

"The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave"