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Joke of the Day

"The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave"

"What kind of furniture do pigs like best? Overstuffed."

"Make a sentence with the following words 'elephant' 'ant' 'ass' 'in' and 'bamboo' Ant in an elephant's ass"

"Whenever I'm naked in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on."

"Johnny and Ruth are mountain biking down a hill... ...Ruth hits a tree. Johnny continues, ruthlessly."

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Well neither have they."

"Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house."

"There ain't enough tailgatin' in this country. Folks would like workin' and schoolin' more if they could tailgate in the parkin' lot first."

"I don't care how funny you are, if I don't like you, I won't laugh."

"What did the two tampons have in common? They were both stuck up bitches"