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Joke of the Day

"Dear cast of The Simpsons, Why is it that the asian characters are white and the white characters are yellow? Sincerely, confused."

"How did the astronaut land on the sun? He went at night."

"Men with itchy butts Have smelly fingers"

"For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be."

"Me: Damn dog is under the covers again! Wife: No she's not. She's next to the bed. Me: Oh. Wife: ... Me: Might be time to shave your legs."

"My roommate said I might be schizophrenic. But what does he know I don't even have a roommate."

"A Polish man and a Palestinian woman married and had a son. What was his name? Yassir Yabetcha"

"Have you ever seen moth balls? You have? Then how the hell did you get their legs apart?"

"Why can't melons get married? Because they cantaloupe."

"If I wear a wizard hat and robe to my cousin's wedding this weekend, I bet no one asks me if I'm next."