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Joke of the Day

"Oh, you love your boyfriend? Please, go ahead and saturate my Facebook news feed with your feelings."

"I tell people I'm narcoleptic so if I fall asleep when they're talking to me I don't seem rude."

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

"Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water."

"I saw a man yesterday who was so bald I could see what he was thinking."

"Anonymous gets Alzheimer's They sign off: We are Anonymous, we are a legion, we do not forgive, we do not...."

"I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa. Well, I think it is a scam. Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving."

"Drunk guy is pissing in the park An Old lady walked past him and says with anger: - What a beast! - Don't worry Ma'am I'm holding him"

"Did it hurt when you fell from a lab where science is studied which has rendered religion obsolete? (Atheist pick-up line)"

"Why is it that sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So they don't get mistaken for feminists."