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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

"What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinners on me!"

"Why are programmers so consumeristic? Because they're object oriented."

"Teacher: Why are you Late Today? Student: Because of sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Student: The sign said, ""School Ahead, Go Slow!"""

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead."

"Man gets left side crushed in car accident. But don't worry he's all right now"

"I had a joke about the Jonestown massacre...... But the punch line was too long."

"I need to buy a new inflatable love doll. The one I have now is almost full."

"Poland started World War 2 like Iraq was responsible for 9/11"

"ME: [sees old friend with new wife] Hey congrats on the wedding! Where did you marry? HIM: Maui ME: Oh, sowwy! Where did you mawwy her?"