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Joke of the Day

"No amount of college can prepare you for how angry you'll get at the way people park in the real word."

"What do 0/10 little boys enjoy? Catholic priests"

"My dad said the key to a good marriage is ""never go to bed mad."" Then he said ""In fact, never go to bed at all!"" and handed me a bag of meth"

"What do you call a cow with its front legs missing Lean beef"

"How do you escape from a Jewish Cop? You take the toll road."

"Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was"

"What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism? Allaboo Akbar."

"A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says... ""What's with the steering wheel on the front of your pants?"" The pirate says, ""Argh!! I don't know but it's driving me testicles!!!"""

"Facebook likes I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."

"""Had an ant farm once."" ""Them fuckers didn't grow shit."""