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Joke of the Day

"There's a fox in our garden! I mean a real fox, not a sexy person! Although, I am also now in the garden. There are two foxes in our garden!"

"They just discovered a lesbian dinosaur and are calling it... Lickalotapus."

"hoarder on TV: pls help me doc therapist: of course. lets start by throwing out all these anime posters. we'll take them to my car"

"How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan? Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer."

"I wanted to make a joke about transgenders... ...but I don't have the balls to do it. Not anymore anyway."

"Scientists have invented a way to send messages to alternate universes... ... they are calling them ""parallelograms""."

"*you open a ring box and inside it is an enormous pair of jeans* He went to Jared"

"""Do you come here often"", she asked... ""No, usually in my belly button"", I replied."

"Why has there never been a military dictatorship in America? Because they don't have an American embassy over there."

"Why did the walrus go to the tupperware store? Because he wanted a tight seal."