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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1000 bones in the human body? Larry: Shhh doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!"

"What did the mushroom put in his bio for the online dating service? Im a fungi"

"""Oh, you're left handed?"" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I'm just doing it for show"

"What do fat girls and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans."

"What did the math teacher tree say to the music teacher tree? Nice log rhythms"

"A vegan, a few crossfitters and a bunch of atheists are coming over for Easter There's no joke, I just thought you all should know"

"I'd stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff."

"What do you get when you drop a Hawaiian pizza? Pearl Harbor pizza."

"Called the rape advice hotline last night.. Apparently it's only for victims."

"How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? ""We just report the facts we don't change them."""