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Joke of the Day

"I bet chickens have mixed emotions about Thanksgiving, because they're safe for a day, but why aren't they good enough for a holiday meal?"

"When life hands you melons... You might be dyslexic."

"A female is like an AP free response question She asks question A, B, C, and D and implanted in all Are questions i, ii, and iii."

"I don't want to tell an anal joke... But fuck it."

"Golf ball sized hail wouldn't be so destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller."

"I hope rapidly clicking this arrow on Google Street View counts as jogging."

"Today's ebonic word is: ""OMELETTE"" Let us use it in a sentence. I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."

"Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir? They could hummus a song! (I was really proud of this one.)"

"If you ever get cold Just stand in a corner for a bit, they're usually around 90 degrees."

"What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain? Neville Chamberlain takes a weekend in the country. Adolf Hitler takes a country in the weekend. (First told circa 1938)"