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Joke of the Day

"A female is like an AP free response question She asks question A, B, C, and D and implanted in all Are questions i, ii, and iii."

"""I don't even own a toilet."" - hipster who went too far"

"What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2? He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!"

"Not a lot of people know this, but if you dress up like a pirate and go into Red Lobster, you eat for free."

"What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...? A fork"

"Meant to type fairy godmother but wound up typing fairy gothmother and holy shit what a great band name that would be."

"I told the barista my name was ""Britney Spears"" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with ""annoying white girl"" written on it instead"

"What's the best thing about going on a surprise vacation with a gay guy? His shit's already packed."

"Want to know how to lose 100 pounds? Go to the London casino..."

"A hobbyist metalsmith was arrested for displaying his handmade pennies in public. What was he charged with? Indie-cent exposure."