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Joke of the Day

"Using a macbook is like making love to a woman There are so many things to do with your fingers, but none of them work."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears, bears will kill you."

"Why do feminist picnics suck? Because no one ever makes sandwiches."

"after decades of advertising, all we want is to feel authentic desire"

"In my life Ive spent 90% of my money on drugs, drinking and women. The other 10% I wasted."

"Best way to get picked up at a gym is fall off a machine."

"9/11 jokes aren't funny. My uncle died on one of the planes. His last words were ALLAHHHU AKBARR!"

"My daughter asked me if I know how to do the Running Man, like my generation didn't invent it. Anyway, that's what brings me to the ER."

"What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks? A seasoned veteran."

"This is a baby horse: it can walk 4 hours after it's born This is a baby human: don't touch its head wrong or you'll bonk its brain"