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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me I needed to break a sweat once a day so I told him I'd start lying to my wife."

Next Joke
 
"It's 2023, a child asks her father ""how did Donald Trump get elected?"" "".....that was the year all the adults were busy coloring."""
"Going out in my hometown tonight. Hope my old bullies are really impressed by my parody twitter accounts."
"What's Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd Album? The Dark Side of the Moon... What a filthy casual."
"A man stopped breathing today at a bar... A lady then screamed out ""ANYBODY KNOW CPR"" I yelled back. ""I know the whole damm alphabet!"" Everyone Laughed... Well except 1 guy..."
"Rave culture: A professor rushes two of his students to the maternity ward and says to the doctor... ""Brah! My pupils are super dilated right now!"""
"There are only two things in this world visible from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other is my pile of laundry."
"My wife left me According to her, she is sick of me talking behind her back and pushing her around. In my defence, she's in a wheelchair."
"*sees a racoon in the neighbor's trash* I won't say anything if you don't. *continues rummaging*"
"Two prostitutes are walking down the street... One turns to the other and asks ""have you been picked up by the fuzz yet?"" The other replies ""No, but I've been slung around by my tits"""