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Joke of the Day

"Two prostitutes are walking down the street... One turns to the other and asks ""have you been picked up by the fuzz yet?"" The other replies ""No, but I've been slung around by my tits"""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ...To get to the other side."

"Watching my kid pick his nose is disgusting. He wipes the boogers on his shirt instead of the closest cat like a normal person."

"RIP Daenerys Targaryen we will miss you. #SPOILERALERT Just kidding. I haven't seen the latest episode yet."

"As a large scale chicken farmer I raise hundreds of cocks everyday for a living."

"What's the most problematic time of day? 4:04"

"Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad."

"If you burn a cookie in the shape of a Star Wars character... ...is it crunchy or Chewie?"

"At School: What Does It Give You? ""Kids, what does the chicken give you?"" ""Meat!"" ""Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"" ""Bacon!"" ""Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"" ""Homework!"""

"Sometimes I put a vase of flowers outside to let other flowers know that if they try to be prettier than me, I'll cut their legs off too."