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Joke of the Day

"When I told you the dishwasher is loaded what I meant was... My wife is drunk."

"I was trying to think of a Legend of Zelda pun... But I don't want to tri and force it"

"Charlie Sheen renamed his penis due to recent events. ""The African"""

"Where do crows go to have fun? a crowbar!"

"Who does a dead pharaoh talk to? His mummy."

"Why did the console peasant cross the street? To render the building on the other side!"

"Wife: You only half-listen to me. You're in a boatload of trouble. Me: Yes, let's buy a boat."

"Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman? They are both crustaceans."

"How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb? There's really no sure way to know."

"I heard a guy at the beach screaming, ""HELP! SHARK! HELP!"" I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn't going to help him."