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Joke of the Day

"Him: So what do you do? Me (hoping to save up for some bushes at the edge of my property): I run a hedge fund."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. I'm so sorry.."

"In the spirit of mother's day Roses are Red Violets are blue Pornhub is down Your moms facebook will do"

"Using what sexual position often causes a couple to have an ugly baby? I don't know, ask your mom."

"I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out. It felt good being on the winning side for once."

"What did the A/C unit say when it suddenly turned on? ""Sorry, I just needed to vent"""

"The part of the Bible I relate to the most is when Jesus makes a scene at the farmers market"

"What kind of pig do sows dislike? Male Chauvinist Pigs."

"A man like me is hard to find. I trim maze hedges."

"My newest million dollar idea involves crowdsourcing. So, who has a million dollar idea for me?"