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Joke of the Day

"I heard a guy at the beach screaming, ""HELP! SHARK! HELP!"" I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn't going to help him."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He saw the gas bill... ^please ^don't ^kill ^me"

"Q: What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane? A: I have my eye on you."

"Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I'm never like, ""Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?"""

"With Trump and Hillary being the candidates, I think we know who will win... Dave."

"My dog stopped digging after I told him he's just gonna end up in China."

"What is the difference... Q: What is the difference between leaves and a car? A: One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computational_humor"

"Can someone tell me the exact crime I need to commit to get put on house arrest because legally having to cancel plans sounds incredible."

"How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren? Just the First Order."

"Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber? Char-Jar Binks"