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Joke of the Day

"Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman? They are both crustaceans."

"I think that the NSA is after me Because I'm Snowden after this blizzard"

"I was invited to an event that requires causal dress. Should I wear a time machine or a syllogism print?"

"How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb? zero, because none of them knows how to"

"i'm going to quit my job and open a donut shop that also sells weed i'll call it 'glazed and confused'."

"How do you stop an Italian from talking? Tie his hands together"

"Obesity levels in the U.K. are rapidly declining. They're dropping pounds fast"

"Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men."

"It's nice that friends keep picking up my kids for play dates. It'd be even nicer if they'd stop bringing them back home."

"A programmer had a problem... A programmer had a problem. He thought ""I know, I'll solve it with threads!"". has Now problems. two he"