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Joke of the Day

"if it smells like bullshit & looks like bullshit, it probably is bullshit. Putting sugar on it doesn't make it a brownie."

"The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they'll call you in the morning!"

"I named my dick ""the fear of god"" now when my parents ask what im doing with my girlfriend i tell them im putting the fear of god in her"

"What's the difference between a tropical beach and a priest? One gets sun on your skin and the other gets skin on your son."

"Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them."

"Got kicked out of the Renaissance Fair after seeing an Asian wearing a breastplate. I said there was a chink in the armor."

"As it turns out you cannot recharge your cell plugging it in to an electric eel. I'm just glad this aquarium had a paramedic on duty."

"If your job ever feels pointless... just remember somebody is the fact checker for Buzz Feed."

"Shark Who Attacked Surfer: ""I Was Just Trying To Impress My Girlfriend"""

"Most women don't know where to look when they're eating a banana."