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Joke of the Day

"If your job ever feels pointless... just remember somebody is the fact checker for Buzz Feed."

"What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue suit."

"Mgmt: What makes you qualified for this job? Me: Because i work for less and good at licking. Mgmt: You're hired."

"'The victim was beaten with a porcelain angel figurine, suspect confirmed to be an Irishman' 'I guess you could say he was Knick-Knack Paddy Whacked.'"

"I've been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says...."

"How does one sink, that which floats? How does one sync, that which floats? Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats."

"I'd like to thank the floor, for always catching me when I'm falling down."

"I don't envy mama birds for how they have to feed their babies, but the pushing them out of the nest part sounds fun."

"What's Bill Cosby's favorite cheese? Camembert."

"Apparently, saying ""Wow, you've grown since I last saw you"" isn't deemed socially acceptable when said to adults."