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Joke of the Day

"Got kicked out of the Renaissance Fair after seeing an Asian wearing a breastplate. I said there was a chink in the armor."

"How is November's election like the Alien vs Predator movie? Whoever wins...we lose."

"How do you pass the Isis entrance exam? I don't know about you, I bombed it."

"A man walks into hospital ""What's with Jane ?"" ""It doesn't look good"" ""Yeah, I know, I'm asking about her health"""

"Some people get athlete's foot. I get Twitter butt."

"So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says ""hey, why the wrong face?"""

"I need a girl that appreciates the little things. So when I take my pants off she will be excited."

"""Why don't you trust me?"", she texted both the guys simultaneously."

"My ex wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER"

"Saw my neighbour scrubbing some graffiti saying 'paedo' off his door this morning... I said ""What's been going on mate?"" He said ""Fucking kids!"""