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Joke of the Day

"I named my dick ""the fear of god"" now when my parents ask what im doing with my girlfriend i tell them im putting the fear of god in her"

"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely... ...if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone."

"I enjoy reenacting the Crucifixion during sex. People call me sacrilegious. I tell them I'm only religious in the sack."

"I love to watch the look of panic on my husband's face when I pull a pair of panties out of my drawer and say, ""um, these aren't mine."""

"What do you call an athlete that smells good? D. O. Durant"

"A father and his son are watching their dog clean himself... Son: Don't you wish you could do that, Dad? Dad: Nah, I'm afraid he might bite me."

"What is it called when you eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch at noon? Cinnamon Toast Brunch"

"What did the unimpressed wind turbine say? I'm not a fan."

"I bought myself a new hairdryer but it's faulty. It sucks."

"My dog was diagnosed with diabetes. Its okay though, I only had to give her one shot. I chose a .357 magnum."