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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to confess my love to this sore throat so it'll be gone when I wake up in the morning."

"A Stormtrooper and a Red Shirt get into a firefight. The Stormtrooper misses every shot, and the Red Shirt still dies."

"Don't make a mountain out of a molehill Do it with mashed potatoes, then play keyboard for the aliens ... I think my cough medicine expired"

"What did the author of The Lord Of The Rings say after he completed his books? If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein."

"Why do photons travels slower through water? They having a float-on. it very good"

"The 'C word' My girlfriend hates it when I say the ""C word"". This one time, we were watching Spongebob and I'm like ""hey, its 'C word'!"" and shes like ""it's Squidward, you cunt"""

"How did we even waste time before Twitter?"

"So today I was setting up a password for an account with my wife, and I put, ""Mypenis,"" as the password, and my wife fell on the ground laughing because on the screen said, ""Error. Not long enough."""

"Do you know how NASCAR got its name? It's from North Carolina. There were a bunch of dudes standing around a car, and one of them said, ""That's a nas' car."""

"What is Rickon Stark's favorite band? One Direction"