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Joke of the Day

"A Stormtrooper and a Red Shirt get into a firefight. The Stormtrooper misses every shot, and the Red Shirt still dies."

"(Work in progress) I want to have sex with a news reporter. I want to have sex with a news reporter. As soon as enter her, I want to scream ""This Just In!"""

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, and Michael Jackson rapes kids and gets away with it."

"TIL Tim Gibbons, a reclusive gastroenterologist, has the only fart preserved in a jar on record since 1983... *owner of a lonely fart*"

"I shot a black teenager the other day I was arrested for impersonating a police officer."

"Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back."

"[offensive] What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country"

"TIFU by switching up by customer's sandwich orders at Subway Opps wrong sub."

"A woman told me at dinner she liked me because I'm ""not afraid to eat bread""--so I'm done with socializing for at least a year thanks"

"A black first-grader runs home crying -Mommy mommy all my friends at school make fun of me cause I have a gigantic penis. His mom looks at him weird and says- ""Nigga you 17"""