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Joke of the Day

"What did the author of The Lord Of The Rings say after he completed his books? If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein."

"oh cool burger king sells hot dogs now. maybe next week i'll get lasik at staples"

"I'd rather my son bring home a pregnant girl than head lice"

"What's the difference between an intern and bird shit? No one intentionally steps on bird shit."

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese man on a phone,""wing, wing, herrooo?"" God I love this joke"

"Read out loud for full affect * ""Knock knock"" * ""Who's there"" * ""I eat mop"" * ""I eat mop who"" * *que laughter Gets em every time"

"Investment fail In college, an ounce of heady weed was the same price as an ounce of gold. I made terrible investments and now I'm a dog walker."

"Dutch girl I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."

"What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN? Saddest joke ever."

"Spinach and Anal Sex What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have either as a child, you'll never enjoy them as an adult."