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Joke of the Day

"So today I was setting up a password for an account with my wife, and I put, ""Mypenis,"" as the password, and my wife fell on the ground laughing because on the screen said, ""Error. Not long enough."""

"You're like a brand new pencil pointless"

"This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around. I was a dictator."

"Why didn't Johnny go to the 7 A.M. funeral? Because he just isn't a mourning person."

"How did Viking ships communicate? Norse code."

"Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion? CrossFit"

"What's difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid to have a lentil in my mouth."

"Co-worker felt bad about throwing away a donation request from the Alzheimer's Association. I told him not to worry, they won't remember who they sent those to anyway."

"Why are mods the worst? [Removed]"

"Why were the new mittens so flirty? Young gloves."