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Joke of the Day

"So today I was setting up a password for an account with my wife, and I put, ""Mypenis,"" as the password, and my wife fell on the ground laughing because on the screen said, ""Error. Not long enough."""

"Don't EVER let anyone tell you you're not worth anything. You can get at least ten grand for one of your kidneys."

"What do you call a building you can't locate? A warehouse"

"Your grandparents used to kiss with tongues, probably"

"[Every restaurant ever] Manager: ""Has he got a mouthful of food?"" Waiter: ""Yes."" Manager: ""Go and ask him how his meal is."""

"How do trees access the internet? They log on"

"Why wasn't the Achilles invited into the body? Because it was already attendin'."

"""Money isn't everything,"" I say, poorly."

"""Welcome to Fight Club,"" said the man with the rock hard abs. I looked around, clutching my kite, becoming worried."

"These days its all about finding the woman you want to divorce after your kids go to college."