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Joke of the Day

"Why is a cow that he jumps? Because he higher and higher. ^(I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)"

"Men say they love Asian women but every time I fry up a new boyfriend's cat or dog it's like all the appreciation goes out the window."

"1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave"

"Have your people call my people but keep in mind that my ""people"" are just stuffed animals with cordless phones glued to their necks."

"How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof? Tell him drinks are on the house."

"I have a pill that helps you lose pounds fast its called the brexit pill"

"I donate money to single mothers going to nursing school... One dollar at a time."

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza guy have in common Both get to smell the goods, but not eat them"

"Other than THAT Ms. Lincoln, how was the play?"

"[Murderer in the middle of murdering me] Can you put your phone down for 2 seconds while I'm murdering you I mean really"