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Joke of the Day

"Men say they love Asian women but every time I fry up a new boyfriend's cat or dog it's like all the appreciation goes out the window."

"Fun fact: When swimming upstream, salmon can jump up as high as 6 feet. Unless its a white salmon."

"Why can't you hear a psychologist go to the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."

"My dick is not small. It is perfectly shaped according to ancient greek standards."

"Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents? A: He's the stiff one."

"What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans"

"The escalator at the gym is broken, this is BULLSHIT."

"Did you hear about the grizzly who didn't like his daughter wearing a crop top? He disapproved of her exposing her bear midriff."

"Chopping Onions I walked into the kitchen to see my Dad chopping Onions up. As soon as I saw him, I started crying because Onions is my dog."

"If I've learned anything from listening to world news, it's that the world is full of countries I've never even heard of. (An American)"