32278

Joke of the Day

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza guy have in common Both get to smell the goods, but not eat them"

"The George W. Bush Library just opened... It uses the Doofas Decimal System."

"How do you make an egg roll? Push it."

"So I was at the bar the other night exchanging pleasantries with an attractive woman. She said she would like to read my palm... Okay! She takes my hand and asks... ""Do you come here often?"""

"People tend to put their faith in a higher power. But to me that's just a primitive solution."

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple food to the ceiling."

"What do Muslim children color with? A Quran"

"Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn't made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back."

"Why did Richard leave his home this morning? For Harambe."

"My grandpa told me that ""your generation relies too much on technology."" I responded with, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" Then I unplugged his life support."