173305
Joke of the Day
"Breakup? I'm sorry no. You're not finished being in love with me yet."
Next Joke
"How do Eskimos make things stick together? Igloo"
"Today I just turned 17! That makes me over 3.55 x 10^14 years old."
"The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The reposter says the glass is half full"
"Question: what is your best comeback to being called a motherf****r? examples: yes I did fuck your mom. Tell her hi. Tell her thanks for the crabs. Tell her I want the money she owes me."
"[helping a pretty girl change a flat tire] me struggling to loosen lug nuts: Who put these on... Superman? her: I did"
"If I ever find out that my wife is going to be an octo-mom... I'm octa-gone."
"What did the sluts left leg say to her right leg? Nothing, they never met."
"What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take? Vitamin ""D""."
"What is the worst kind of vegetable to run a country? A penis shaped potato. Its a dick-tater."