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Joke of the Day
"Doctors just assume I want all my blood at a particular pressure."
Next Joke
"Dude... I was there, don't try to change the story."
"at the salon thinking of going darker for winter maybe i'll kill the shampoo girl"
"Trying to get this hot girl at the bar jealous, so I'm slow dancing & making out with a potted plant. It's working, she's been staring at me"
"Another version of the Chinese man on his deathbed joke by /u/comment_sense ,,? "",,?"" "" "" ""? "" ,: "",,,, "" ,,: "",? "" "
"[NSFW] What's the difference between Harry Potter and Jews? Harry Potter came out of the chamber alive."
"I just found out insomnia is illegal in my home town. They call it resisting a rest."
"Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says ""I'm going to have to cancel tonight"""
"The new Samsung phone shares every picture you take with all your friends as soon as you take it. Good idea. What could possibly go wrong?"
"If I had a dollar... If i had a dollar for every racist comment i've ever made, a black guy would probably mug me."