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Joke of the Day

"Question: what is your best comeback to being called a motherf****r? examples: yes I did fuck your mom. Tell her hi. Tell her thanks for the crabs. Tell her I want the money she owes me."

"What was the best part of being a blind smallpox inoculator in the 18th century? The great stories you get to read everyday."

"How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster at 20000 fathoms? Drop him a line."

"""That's you"" is one of my favorite games to play with my husband when we see disgusting people."

"I hate it when I'm brushing my teeth and Kiefer Sutherland climbs out of the toilet just to ask me if he can bum a cigarette."

"What do you get if you cross an owl with a donkey? A Wise Ass."

"A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, ""Why is that, Angus"""

"Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ? They can lighten your load !"

"How do you get a baby to stop choking? Take your dick out of its mouth."

"My phone corrects ""haha"" to ""hahaha"", so all my friends think they're 50% funnier than they actually are."