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Joke of the Day

"teacher: there's no such thing as a stupid question me: are sharks just mean dolphins teacher: ok i was wrong"

"What do birds order when they go to Starbucks? Flappaccinos."

"By tomorrow night America will be in a turkey induced coma. On Friday...Canada attacks."

"Knock knock... *Who's there?* Dwain. *Dwain who?* Dwain the bathtub I'm dwowning!"

"Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose."

"""I'm not really a big dog person."" - lying werewolf"

"A mechanical engineers wife comes out of delivery. She texts him She texts him : ""your new vehicle has been launched"". He replies : "" is it with gear stick or automatic?"""

"I was casually swimming with a great white shark today. Until he bit my whole arm off."

"if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up"

"Me: Real women don't care about romantic cliches. My internal voice: Please buy me flowers, please buy me flowers, please buy me flowers."